{bake me a cake as fast as you can...}

This just in: the baker's man got it wrong.  Baking a cake as fast as you can doesn't actually produce a quality product.  I now know this from experience.  And I won't do it again.

Teacher roomie won the "who got the weirdest Christmas gift from a distant relative" contest this year.  The prezzie? An oversized chocolate cupcake kit. Yeaaaaaaaaah.

Considering even the baking bowl was included in the one-stop-shop, the only ingredient requirements for the "recipe" were nine tablespoons each of vegetable oil and milk (seems suspiciously specific to me), and three whole eggs.  If I wasn't feeling weird about this whole situation before, I was after I added said ingredients and attempted to stir them together.  Oil and milk don't mix well, and neither were this recipe and me.

{eggs, oil, and milk don't play well together}

I stirred and stirred and finally just gave up and plopped the whole thing in the microwave.  I spent the cooking time (yep, all five minutes of it) laughing with my roomies and trying to guess what the product would taste like.  I remained semi-optimistic, despite our consensus that something starting with three raw eggs could not possibly end up edible in under thirty minutes.

{maybe our weird wisk was the problem?}

I watched the whole shebang cook with my forehead pressed against the microwave (that whole brain damage side effect thing stopped years ago, right?) and was pleasantly surprised when I discovered that the final product was in fact more a solid than a liquid.  But, as Snow White and the Wicked Queen taught me a few years back, appearances can be deceiving.

{innnnnnnnteresting}

Yeah, the cake was gross.  And not really edible.  Roomies and I tried to cover the bitter, not-sweet-at-all taste with various toppings ranging from frosting to whipped cream, with little success.  None of us made it past bite #5 before throwing our forks down in defeat.

{rescue attempts...unsuccessful}

Oh well.  Lesson learned.  Final verdict: we should change the words to "patty cake, patty cake, baker's man, take your time making a cake with an actual oven and a pan."